Lessons Learned

Yesterday was our son’s birthday.

27

Gack.

When did THAT happen?

I had lunch with him today. I love having lunch with my son. He’s great fun to be around. He likes to laugh just like his dad. Life surrounds him. We talk of so many things including his life plans.

We spoke of his dad and how hard this 5 year thing seems to be…like constantly being poked by the Grief Monster with a pointy little stick.. (Daughter has said the same thing.)

We spoke of the lesson’s we’ve learned on this journey. Amazingly his are really no different than mine.

We decided:

Life’s short.
Death sux.
Tears are cleansing.
People matter.
Family is important.
Love lives on.
Laughter is healing.
Joy is there if you look for it. (this one takes time)

I will never take any of those things for granted ever again should I live to be 100. (which is a distinct possibility considering the longevity of my maternal genes.)

We made wonderful kids together. I’m glad they’re more like their Dad than me. He was a good man.

I miss him.

Beyond the Ridge

I swear I don't know where these are coming from.

Have I turned another corner, but am not yet aware of what it is?

Who knows.

Here's today's:

Beyond the Ridge
I wait just beyond the ridge for you

No matter where you tread

I’ve already been there

A step ahead to check the way

This road is long, filled with snags

To trip and cause you pain

Curved and winding, steep and jagged

To steal your breath away

Many feet have trod this path

This one so rocky and steep

Many tears have washed these stones

Same as the ones you weep

You are not alone along the way

For many walk here as you do

Seeking peace for a heart tired and sore

Company as the journey continues on

I do not leave a visible path

The way must be your own

And I will be there when at last

You find your way back home

Always

Poetry has come to me since Jim's death almost exclusively when I have been feeling sorrowful.

What I wrote today has come from a place not so dark and not from my own point of view. I find myself surprised.

Always

I am as I always was
Near unto your heart
Behind the chair
My hand on your shoulder
As always I was in life

I am as I always was
Loving you dear and true
Though my body left this place
My spirit is always within you.

I am as I always was
Your harbor in the storm
My light within in yours
To guide your path to mine

I am as I always will be
Alive within your dreams
Warm, breathing, strong
Holding you as you sleep

I am as I always will was
Are and will be
The compass to your ship
Upon this turbulent sea

Fear not losing your way
To land on stranger shores
My light lives within you still
To find the place where you will stand
Afraid to live no more.