A Blog a Day Keeps Insanity at Bay or The Birth of a Blog

Perhaps not...I believe I’ve been truly insane for at least 3 years. Time previous was a case of Insanity in Training to my way of thinking.

Did you ever feel like you HAD to write…HAD to get the words out on the page before they went away? That’s where I am these days…the committee in my mind is on speed and afraid 3 years worth of stuff bouncing around in my brain to keep it from gathering dust will disappear before they can spit it out.

AND it needs a public voice....somewhere different than my usual cyber hanging out place...a place for the words to be viewed...hence the title Camera Obscura*.

I think it might be important, but, I can’t wait for some-locked-in-his-office publisher to return the blue lined manuscript and say “No…that’s crap…now go away.” I need to know right away if what is coming out is real or just more something no one cares to read. And, I think it needs adding to on a regular basis as my insanity either grows or I learn to keep it under control.

As if. My answer is that I have become absurdly doubtful in my delusion of control over anything other than my own self...not my life...just myself. My current control has an air of impermanence about it. More and more, lately, I find myself unwilling to bind myself to the mundane and instead reach out for those things I put away for fear of failing. After a recent "aha moment" I realise I don't want my life to be about what could have been if I'd not been afraid to step off the edge. Therefore, a certain lack of control would appear to be a necessary piece of the luggage required for this particular part of my journey on the widow’s path.

Thus…a blog is born.

My journey from death to life through a slightly skewed “camera obscura”.*

(*Essentially a darkened room containing a table or screen on which an upside down image of the outside world is projected.)