Mirror Image

Mirror Image

Reflections in a mirror
A woman used to be
Sad eyes
In a bathroom glass
White frame, silvered back
Peering...into me.

Step aside
Glance the window view
Reversed images
Rotated, angled
Ever so slightly askew.

Would that she be Alice
Step through
The looking glass
Back to that
Which once she knew.

A time
That things made sense
The day not long and black
Where colors rose and reigned
And flowers bloomed the fence.

Melancholy waves her flag
Twines the heart
Pulls the soul
As memories unwind.

Twill all pass
With winter's cold
Sleeping
Silent
Tamed.

Step once again
Through the glass
The vision blurrs
Rights itself
Dry the tears
March on.

Love comes again
To ease the heart
Yet...
Forgets not the pain.

Friday ~ September 30, 2005

ARRRRRRG!!!
Tough old, boot kickin’ Outlaw…3 years & some months down this road…feet planted in the present.

DANG IT!!!

I’m supposed to be past this…finished dragging the past round like a sea anchor…bragged as much…what a fool…arrogant wench.

Yet…here I sit as memories of a past life slam smack into those of the present.

Restless…I’d like nothing better than to grab a handful of mane, mount that pony called “Run Away” and take of hell bent for leather for anywhere but here. These darn September (now October) melancholies nip my heels like a poorly trained pup.

My Handyman must think he’s hooked himself up with a real nut-case chameleon. I love my Handyman so much…he brings light and life in extraordinary measure into my life. But, dammit, it still hurts and my heart is obviously still capable of twisting into knots over the loss of Jim.

Last year when this hit I was on my way to the wilds of New Mexico and the most amazing and unexpected spiritual journey of my life. Now, how come I can’t keep those lessons in mind now? Why can’t I be grateful for the wonders in my life instead of wallowing in the loss?

OK…I know this will pass. I know the world will right itself again. Yet, I’m thinking I’d better get to doing something to help it along. Now…if I could just figure out WHAT.

Saturday ~ October 1, 2005

A day at hard labor…riding my little John Deere around my 1 1/2 acre yard…taking in the sun…the dirt and dust…the dogs…the animal farm next door…the smell of crisp leaves being munched by the mower…balm to a weary soul.

Then reading words written by two VERY special women in my life. The things they accomplish with all that they have on their plate.

Well…Outlaw…get a clue…your life is WAYYYY less complicated.

What a blessing they are and don’t even know what good they’ve done me today.

Sunday ~ October 2, 2005

AHA!!! (you know…that moment when the light bulb blazes.)

I will build a monster. A monster worthy of that my Jim would have built. And I will put him…dubbed Creepy 2…after his predecessor…in that old rocker on the screen porch and light him up for Halloween.

My testament…maybe memorial in an obliquely skewed sort of way…to how much my Jim loved Halloween and all the prep work he did to create just the right combination or horror and humor to the delight of the neighborhood children (and their parents as children).

The kids have all changed. They will not know the Creepy who came before. But, my children and my grand will and that is all that is important to this little tableau I will create.

I’m a woman on a mission and finally smiling as I should be.

HOO-AH.