And, so it goes...

Things change...the world turns on a dime...as does the flavor of this blog.

I did not expect today to be the day.

8:15 am - The Phone

"Dr. W. is in the office today. He'd like to talk to you about your pathology."

Pathology...

Not Lab Results...

Pathology.

8:40 - On the Road

To work.

I need to work...refocus my energy.

"Que Sera' Sera' "

3:30 pm - The Waiting Room

In a room full of pregnant women I sit...waiting the verdict of last week's biopsies. (A story for another day.)

My mind tries to breach the thinly veneered dam...damn...dam...erected to contain thoughts that threaten to crack it's walls if not held back.

What will he say?

How will I react?

What is...is...and...so...I wait.

4:00 pm - The Anteroom

Blood pressure too high...201 over something...warning, danger, will robinson...up almost 60 points from last week.

4:23 pm (I looked) - Diagnosis

"I'm afraid it's not good news."

Uterine Cancer.

Nope...not good at all.

"No doubt."

I cried a little...I cannot change what is.

Specialist...he's on of the best (aren't they all?)...appointment...Friday.

5:00 - Detour

Picked up dog's meds.

Such a mundane task on a day the world turns sideways.

5:30 - The Handyman

Welcome home hug...sweet.

Coffee...hot.

"Sit down."

Words are hard.

I cry a little...he's been through this before...unsucessfully.

Sigh.

He'll go to the oncologist (I don't want one of those, thank you) with me.

He loves me.

I think he'd go to the ends of the earth for me...

It's humbling...it's...it just is.

The kids will wait until I (we) know what I'm (we're) dealing with.

Mother I will have to tell tomorrow.

Sigh.

11:52 pm - Time for Bed

Thus ends my first day as a cancer survivor.