Day 5 begins with anxiety.

Today I tell my chidren...I seriously don't want to do this...they've been through enough losing their dad...despite my plan to outlive the cancer, they cannot hlep but go there even if its for just the briefest moment...I hate putting them through the stress.

I can only hope that as they see that I am confident as to the path and the outcome, they will also relax and be reassured.

The harder parts of this journey is telling those who care and the financial fallout fromt treatment. Because I have some small means of self-payment, I qualify for no financial assistance.

Survival of this cancer is still likely to leave my offspring saddled with unpaid medicals bills 20 years from now since my plan is is to live a long life beyond the removal of this festering bastard from my body.

Alas, it is yet another of those thing that is what it is.

I can waste my time and energy fretting or I can hitch up my boots, put on my big girl panties and get on with living life.

I choose life.